hahaha..just some mumbling thoughts!
I have a 'something happen to my heart' news! Hahaha But I think it's seem to early to say. But I'm happy about it. Only that, yesterday I suddenly realized the familiarity of the feeling ~ I felt that before! Few years ago!
And I'm also feel the unwanted part ~ the same feeling of afraid to loosing it!
Flashback: Few years ago, I think that I can 'see' the future and all our happy endings. It's the most sincere feeling since it's so magical in unspeakable way. I just know it was the right choice, the best decision! But I woke up and cried almost every night, to the worry that "what if" I loose it? What if I'm not going to get it? What if bla bla bla
It's just happen, that it really doesn't realized as I happily wish. The charming and adorable future life that I see, is not ending happily. I loose it, without warning, in a blink of an eye! I try hard not to protest God for what's happen. But maybe I hurt and the wound leave such a clear scar across my heart. I'm still sadden with what happened, and I don't think I will ever forget it totally.
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| Ops! Don't practice this at home!! *Strictly just for laugh |
Current: Yeah! I start to felt it again. With your presence, I felt some sort of ''clearer sky", "bright-full day" and "walking-and-singing-happily-in-a-garden". Exaggerated? Nope. I'm sincerely felt it. Thou I'm a bit scared about it deep in my heart!
But, the same wicked dream woke me up since yesterday and I was thinking about the same wicked night that I cried in the dark, afraid, too afraid to loose someone! I'm now getting wicked dream of loosing you!
I don't know it's wrong or right? Maybe it's just a coincidence and some people say "lightning won't strike twice, at the same spot''. But...I hate the wicked dream! I try to stand tall this time, I try to think positive and I pray hard that God is not going to let my happy-ending-dream shattered like glass anymore..please!
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