Manusia bermuka dua?

Aku benci last day! Walau pun bukan last day aku, ia tetap sesuatu yang aku tak suka. Bukan favourite! Sebab aku rasa macam losing a friend, or maybe someone close thou not really that closed. Hari ni last day untuk one of our office mate. Dia budak fresh grad, dan alasan dia tak di renew contract ialah sebab dia tak begitu menyerlah!

For me, what do you expect la? He's just a fresh grad. It's normal for him to play a bit, then after 2-3 company they will be mature enough to work like what you wish for. Actually that is also a minus factor at Ansar. Plus the management too much relying on their 'icing-sugar' people for opinion. Surely that is not a good judgement because as employee we are trying to be top of one another! How can you ask a fair opinion from our enemies?

Manusia kipas aka manusia bermuka dua tu lagi amat menyakitkan hati! Bayangkan, dia adalah orang yang 'menyerang' tertuduh dalam bilik boss, diam-diam menikam belakang, pada hari ini, si tertuduh mengakui dia adalah kawan terbaik di ansar! Malu! Jelik! Kalaulah dia tau, siapa dalangnya yang menjatuhkan dia, aku yakin dia tak akan sudi duduk sebelah menyebelah!

Tapi, itulah realiti dunia bodoh tak sempurna ansar! Bukan aku kata ansar dunia bodoh, tapi hakikat betapa bodohnya manusia yang sudi menjadi anjing berebut tulang hatta dengan bayang-bayang sendiri! Ah! Aku benci! Amat! Minta perangai ini jauh-jauh dari keturunan aku...!

 

Responsibility

I just bought a pet yesterday! It's a swarm of five fish named Oren-ji, Shiro-chan, Black pearl, Alien and Koi. I don't have nice picture to upload yet but so far they were all 'seem' happy inside the tank. Just a bit hole in my pocket makes me a bit unhappy! haha

Actually I didn't plan to have a real fish. I'm obvious cat-lover, or any animal with fur! But having domestic partner aka pet like cat or other furry animal will cause some tolerance on space, smell, maintenance etc Plus my house on the 3rd floor is not suitable for them. Then I plan to adobe a bird. It's furry, it's small, it's confine, it's not produce smelly waste bla bla bla So bird seem to be a good idea!

I did ask from my friend whose brother used to supply pet aka pet agency. And do my own research on Lovebird, but then still have no time to visit pet shop like the one on top floor of Ikano (not sure what's the name) as suggested, so bird for pet is still erm..mystery..

But yesterday, as I proudly make Kylie's wish come true by bringing her to a nice wax and polish, I spent some time walking around Carefour in front of my house where I saw a cute puffy-fish aka Ikan Buntal. They were so cute and size about 2 inch! I was starring at them interestingly until the shop assistant come and ask me if I need any help. Then the accident shopping happen! Another accident is, I didn't buy puffy fish, but Dolly or Molly something instead! And they were now swimming happily inside the tank :)

So my routine change drastically this morning, where the first thing I do is no longer to think which cloth to wear. Instead it goes like this;
"Morning kids..eyy mommy just woke up. Here your breakfast. Eat nicely ya, don't fight. Mommy will only come back later this afternoon, so you eat first now"

So with the routine when I'm coming back. Usually I will hang around lazily or with eyes half shut, scrolling down any reply from FB, Yahoo mail etc But today is like this:
"Hi kids..hows today? You all been doing good rite? Here your dinner, mommy eat gardenia toast tonite. Enjoy"

Haha..suddenly it teach me about being responsible. *Am I so irresponsible before la? I'm in charge of five-little-fragile-lives which require total support. Erm..they might not necessarily need guide for homework or advice on love crush but they were little things that make me happy, currently..

Oh! I'm going on a family holiday this weekend. Who's interested to baby-sit my kids, please leave your contact :D        

Hari yang paling banyak lampu!

Hari ni biasa je dari awal pagi. Nothing special, kecuali aku sedang berusaha untuk membiasakan diri datang awal! HAHAHA *Tergolek-golek aku gelak sendiri!

Lepas tu everything went smooth except dalam pukul 11 kena tolong angkat barang etc Kitorang memang selalu ada gotong-royong macam ni, angkat barang itu dan ini, pindah sana dan sini..tak kisah sangat, cuma sejak minggu lepas aku sedar ada banyak lagi kerja nak kena disiapkan. Sebab website dah siap and tugas mencari sale memang dah bagi kat assistant, tapi aku nak kena fokus untuk mart dan restaurant pula. Include renovation, interior design etc So itu yang akan jadi kelam kabut lagi...

Caffeine week again? Hahaha maybe? Tapi, aku tak kisah sangat. I'm enjoying the task :)

Menjelang tengah hari, balik lunch dapat satu email dari customer. First customer purchase! Alhamdulillah! Seronok giler aku rasa! Terasa macam nak lari satu Ansar tu, sambil jerit yang kitorang dapat satu sale! Hahaha Memanglah satu je, tapi seronok tak terkata sebab website tu kitorang bina dari empty (kecuali template memang dah ada), tapi nak pump-in data, details, price, layout, testing payment channel, shipping cost etc adalah kerja yang memakan masa dan sangat banyak data. So bila ada satu sale yang external (bukan testing, bukan dari ansarian etc) adalah sesuatu yang sangat-sangat menggembirakan! :D

Terasa macam 'owh..rupanya kitorang dah capai dunia luar! rupanya ada orang sedar website kitorang!' Macam tulah seronoknya aku rasa..sangat excited especially sebab aku memang suka bina something from scratch, so bila mende tu function, terasa sangat puas hati! Alhamdulillah, moga ada banyak lagi incoming sales later...

Tu pasal sales, tamat. Everyday and every step is like a learning process pada aku sebab semua ni adalah perkara baru. So next step is shipping process, wrapping, send out, update etc Biasa je sebenarnya, bukan besar sangat, tapi aku tetap rasa ia mengujakan, sebab it's almost totally mine! hahaha Boss kata, anggaplah ni macam baby kitorang. As long as it function! Best kan?

So despite kesibukkan dan tenggelam dalam data-data bersepah-sepah tu, budak-budak Ansar ni (guys especially), dah semakin recognise aku. Bukan sebab apa, sebab aku sangat garang! HAHAHA Aku pun tak sure kenapa, well actually, bukan garang la..aku serius je bila kerja. Tekun. Pergh...haha Assistant aku tu da kena marah tak tau baper kali, orang lain kurang sikit la. Aku bukan suka sangat marah pun, tapi dah ko buat macam nak tak nak je, mestilah aku bengang. Kalau ni bukan responsibility aku, maybe la aku tak kisah. Tapi kalau buruk nanti, bukan orang cari orang lain, aku jugaaa! So, mestilah aku serius!

Anyway, by January, dia bukan lagi assistant aku. Sebab aku rasa dia lebih suka buat sales outdoor. Biarlah dia. Dia follow mak cik soseh, yang ternyata amat suka dapat assistant baru! As for me, outdoor sales is not my style. I prefer stay indoor, work behind the stage, the planner, the thinker! Competition? Semakin hangat. Tapi tak kisahlah, as I proudly say before, I'm not going to take side. If I'm good, then I'm. Tekanan? Sure, tapi I need to prove that aku pun boleh berjaya macam orang lain. Peluang sudah ada depan mata..

Speaking about this, I'll bring over my parents to holiday earlier 2012. Payback, sebab all these while sangat tak ada masa. Aku bukan apa, macam yang aku cakap tadi, I'm trying to build my future. Aku kan nak beli rumah, hopefully. So, gaji kenalah besau sebab aku single owner ma..Rumah tu bolehlah parents aku stay together nanti. Sebenarnya aku pun nak bagi chances kat adik aku mengembara keluar dari rumah. Kesian juga dia, all these while, dia kena jaga parents kitorang. So maybe, kalau ada rumah tu nanti, dia boleh fly out oversea yang dia nak beli BMW tu. Then parents can stay with me.

Sekarang ni, gaji tak cukup banyak. Tak mampu beli rumah. So kenalah aku berusaha naikkan karier ni. Aku tak harap sesiapa memahaminya. Tapi kalaulah aku boleh terangkan pada mereka-mereka yang bersoal jawab, macamlah aku bunuh orang atau edar dadah ke oversea, I wish they can understood.

Anyway, balik kerja tu masih terbawa-bawa kegembiraan receive first customer. Tanpa aku sedari, banyak rupanya lampu along route yang aku hari-hari guna! MasyaAllah, selama ni tak perasan pun! Haha Seriously lampu-lampu yang aku tengok malam tadi sangat indah, meraikan keindahan yang aku rasa! Alhamdulillah :)

Lebih hapi lagi, sebab ada orang bagi lagu ni, part of the lyric....Cuz baby you are mine mine (Mine...) Mine mine (Mine...) I was too quick into admitting I really missed you Did that seem unmanly of me You say bye bye (Bye...), oh bye bye (Bye...) I open up my heart for you to see, it's full of love......Don't, don't you leave secretly Don't, don't you leave secretly Don't be scared, I won't leave you alone there You just want someone to depend on, someone to love you Don't, hurry up and open your umbrella Don't, hurry up and open your umbrella..


Ish...terangnya lampu! :D *Sila tepuk dahi beramai-ramai!

Prosperity burger untuk penakut

Setiap tahun aku punya ritual ialah makan prosperity burger, dengan harapan supaya aku lebih kaya di tahun berikutnya! HAHAHA Gelaklah kuat-kuat, tak kisah.. Semua orang ada cara tersendiri, dan ini cara aku...mungkin aku tak cukup kaya hingga merancang setiap tahun supaya aku lebih kaya. So far, alhamdulillah belumlah lagi tahap kaya. Tapi semakin baiklah...

Aku rasa penting untuk setiap orang berfikir positif tentang sesuatu sebelum dia mendapat apa yang dia inginkan. Walau pun tak semua yang kita rancang tu tercapai, adalah penting untuk mengubah apa yang negatif difikiran kita terlebih dahulu. Dan aku obses dengan kaya! hahaha *Gelak lagi!

tolong jangan ejek saya jika anda rasa tulisan saya bosan! :D

Aku dah cuba menulis sejak beberapa hari lepas, tapi jam. Otak tepu dan aku risau nanti ada orang mati kerana bosan membaca apa yang aku tulis! Kelas tazkirah pagi-pagi tak begitu mempunyai topik yang aku nak kongsikan, atau pun mungkin kerana aku tak begitu mendengar! :D *Jangan bagitau boss aku e..

Ok-ok mungkin ada, bila bercakap pasal penakut dan kelas tazkirah. Ada seorang ustaz aku ni yang sebelum ni muka macam nak makan orang je! Tapi sekarang lebih ceria. Mungkin sebab sekarang dia dah kurus sikit, jadi dia lebih gembira. Hypertension sudah berkurangan...

Ok, kisahnya ialah satu hari dia bercerita tentang keberuntungan kami sebab Ansarian dapat peluang yang sama hanya terdapat kat kompeni besar-besar macam Menara TM, Maybank dan dari yang dia beritahu, hanya ada lebih kurang empat buah syarikat di Selangor/KL yang boleh/mampu mengadakan kelas tazkirah harian untuk semua staff. Dan Ansar adalah salah satu syarikat 'kecil' yang mampu mengadakannya secara harian! Betapa kami beruntung!

Beruntung ~ tak selalunya hanya soal duit!

Oleh tu dia tak nak kami mensia-siakan peluang dan keberuntungan yang ada. Suruh kami dengar betul-betul dan dengar dengan hati, bukan hanya dengan telinga. Lalu dia pun bercerita tentang kisah hidup dia sebelum ni. Katanya dia hanya tahu arah kiblat rumah dia masa dia berusia 17. Terkejut?

Aku taklah terkejut sangat. Sebab sebanyak yang aku jumpa di Ansar, mereka semua punya sejarah hidup yang berlainan, terlalu berlawanan dari apa yang aku jumpa sekarang. Malah, mungkin lebih jauh dari aku. Contohnya, aku tahu kiblat rumah aku sejak aku tahu apa tu solat. Alhamdulillah, walau pun parents aku bukan alim sangat, tapi bapak aku bising tiap-tiap marghrib supaya tutup tv! Dan solat jemaah dengan mak aku. Dan aku pun tak pernah free hair, sedangkan some of them pernah berada dalam keadaan tersebut.

Tak kisahlah, kita adalah sebahagian dari masa silam kita, tapi masa depan kita adalah lebih penting. Kita tak belajar sejarah, untuk mengulangi kesilapannya...and aku harap, kalau aku ada keluarga sendiri nanti, aku boleh prektis semula apa yang bapak aku prektis tiap-tiap marghrib tu.. :D

Beruntung. Bukan kerana berumah di Bukit Beruntung! Sebab rumah aku kat Kota Damansara je! Haha Dan tadi petang aku ada interview untuk review contract 3 bulan aku kat Ansar. Contract aku sambung lagi sebulan, pending review sebab attendance aku dan ke'rebel'an aku yang sejak azali nih! hahaha

dare-rebel-alien

Kelakar! Bos aku kata kerja, paperwork semua ok. Excellent! (HAHAHA Kembang semangkuk! Ceh!) Tapi  it will goes to waste kalau aku tak baiki attendance and cara aku communicate dengan management. Ok, bab attendance tu susah nak cakap. Aku maybe dah tahap immune sebab dari imt dulu pun, tu la keunikan aku! Dalam appraisal, semua ok, kecuali attendance! In the blood! Arghhh...

Dan rebel. Boss aku tak tahu pasal ni, tapi aku kepala batu. So sometimes aku buat bodoh jek apa yang dia tanya. Aku hanya jawab kalau dia memang cakap depan muka aku! Kalau dia tanya assistant aku tu, aku pun buat tak tahu jek..continue task at hand. Entah, maybe sebab aku rasa ~ dia bukan cakap dengan aku pun, so aku consider tak perlu cakap apa-apa!

Panda-man aka Pa-Yap yang kudengar sudah mau tarik diri juga...

Ok-ok, teringat papa-Yap yang turut sama kena marah dengan aku. Papa-Yap pun boleh kena marah dengan aku, macam mana tak rebel jadinya! Ow-ow maybe aku jadi begini sebab aku keras kepala dan aku rasa kalau aku lembut kepala nanti aku tak maju dan aku tak dipandang/dihargai. Well, honestly kita bertindak hari ni berdasarkan apa yang kita pernah alami. Pengalaman. Cara hidup. Pergaulan etc

HR aku kata, kawinlah. Semudah kata dan semudah perkataan tersebut dieja! Aku tak marah, cuma aku tak rasa itu jawapan/penyelesaian bagi semua masalah. Kalau aku tak boleh ubah diri, mana kan boleh orang lain mengubah aku. Lesson's learn during floating class with pa-bear; biar air dalam, biar air cetek, aku boleh terapung sendiri kalau aku yakin dan percaya aku boleh mengapung. Bukan sebab dia boleh ajar aku terapung!

Entahlah, banyak sangat perkara-perkara dalam hidup ni yang boleh dijadikan alasan. Banyak juga yang boleh dijadikan iktibar, contoh dan tauladan. Again, terpulang pada aku untuk ambil mana satu dan jadikan pegangan. Mungkin betul juga kata HR aku, aku perlukan orang lain, sebab sifat manusia ialah memerlukan satu sama lain.

Penakut. Perkataan yang paling sesuai, mungkin. Sebab aku ada kecenderungan memangkah, mencantas, mendelete etc apa pun yang aku rasa menyusahkan, menyakitkan, menyedihkan etc Alasan awalnya ialah sebab kalau aku susah, sakit, sedih etc aku hanya ada diri sendiri untuk bersandar. Pa-bear kata aku susah, sangat susah, percaya orang. Well, he's true.

Dan si penakut pulang kerja sambil berfikir sesuatu.

Ok aku mungkin takut menghadapi 'sakit' tu sendiri, itu sebab aku avoid. Cuma aku avoid secara melampau. Mak aku kata, dulu abang sulung aku pernah ditolak pinangannya. Sejak tu dia kerat habis kepak ayam (bahagian kecik tu!). Mengikut kata orang-orang jawa, kitorang tak elok makan kepak kecik tu sebab nanti kalau meminang akan ditolak. Well, petang tadi aku terfikir jugalah. Aku pun macam abang aku juga, aku tak makan kepak kecik tu totally! Nak menggambarkan betapa aku avoid something secara melampau, walau pun mungkin bukanlah niat aku untuk percaya pasal pinagan kena reject tu!

Contohnya macam ni la, aku tak nak kena kencing manis. So aku hanya minum air masak and avoid gula 100%. Natural or artificial sugar! Sedangkan natural sugar ialah sugar yang boleh terurai dengan mudah...atau mungkin lebih parah, kedai jual gula pun aku tak nak singgah!

ok-ok so apakah solusinya? Aku sangat susah berubah melainkan aku sendiri yang nak ubah. Dan nak berubah, aku kenalah lembutkan sikit kepala batu ni, dengan cara rendam semalaman? HAHAHA Well, itulah yang aku tak tahu...mungkinkah termasuk di dalamnya, harus punya kepercayaan lebih sedikit terhadap orang di sekeliling?

Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking. Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making ~ Ronan Keating (I Hope You Dance)




Lagu ni theme song hari ni, untuk semua penakut-penakut di luar sana! Dengan ucapan ~ tak semua kita rancang akan berlaku, mungkin nasib belum menyebelahi kita. Untuk penakut itu, it's ok. I understand. So haruskah aku berikan sedikit lagi percaya?

Owh tadi boss aku tanya, berapa banyak yang aku nak score dari 1-10 aku nak stay at Ansar? Aku jawab 9.5. Lagi 0.5? Aku bagi lagi 0.5 tu kat boss aku untuk decide sendiri sama ada dia nak atau tak accept aku kat situ..fair, walau pun aku nak sangat, tu bukan company aku. So aku nak selesa berada di situ sebanyak mana dia selesa accept aku. Percent yang sangat sedikit tu pula, menunjukan betapa veto kuasa dia untuk memilih siapa yang dia nak pilih kerja dengan dia...

Aku boleh jawab 10! Tapi, aku tau, aku tak ada 100% hak dan memaksa mereka memilih sesuatu yang mungkin mereka rasa tak kena pada tempatnya...

Sales! Sales! Sales!

Wa..so happy weekend! Why it's so happy? Because now is sales, and I managed to buy something, few things actually, at a shockingly discounted amount!

Total discount I get last Sunday Splendor is more than RM700! Wuooo..I never really go shopping since I'm not in the position to do such, and shopping was never my hobby! (Lucky!) But last Sunday was a greatest shopping event eva!

Buy few things for my own while some of it is kinda try-try to resale. Hopefully it works! :)

Anyway I think it's kinda great opportunity for commoners (like me!) to utilized the shopping period like this time to top up your household things, top up for the coming year for what ever item you desire. Save for almost a year, and spend by the end of the year. Take it as a reward, take it as a way to make yourself happy, call it whatever you like ~ sometime we can't save all year round, we also need some things to be proud of! You are human anyway :)

Take a break ~

Sharon used to say, don't spend all you have paying debts. Spend some for your own enjoyment :) So, save some, spend some..ok? Don't stress-stress, you can't bring all your money to the grave! haha

see? shopping people, happy people! :D

Well, apart from that, as some kind of a brainy and idealistic person I'm (is it??!! X0), I also see year end sales like this as a great way if you are planning for your big day. A wedding maybe, will usually cost more than anything you ever imagine your whole life. For girl, you surely want the day to be perfectly and grand since girl are more sentimental than guy, and I personally think that it's a day that you want to remember forever!

So it's great if you are planning the big day on early month of the year, say January to March. Because you can save lots buying most of the wedding item at the sales period, end of the previous year! Plus, not many people wed's earlier of the year, so your plan won't clash with anyone! And you can save on food since not so many people will have time to attend your wedding! hahahah Just kidding! :D  

It's some of my thoughts lar..hope it's best applies to us all :) Provided is a link to some of website on warehouse sales or clearance you may be interested with. Check it regularly, then anytime you may reward yourself with items that you been eyeing long ago, at cheaper price!

Savings I mean, not exactly mean cheaper the better...
http://everydayonsales.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html
http://www.shoppingnsales.com/warehousesales/

Flash, not necessarily about camera lighting!

Stay up, to prepare some report for meeting tomorrow. Prepare JD etc Wondering how can some of my mates have time to facebook, youtube and email update of flash flood in Kajang, in a minute it happen? Like flash! Don't they have thing to do? Why I always feel I have no time to do my things?

hahaha..just some mumbling thoughts!

I have a 'something happen to my heart' news! Hahaha But I think it's seem to early to say. But I'm happy about it. Only that, yesterday I suddenly realized the familiarity of the feeling ~ I felt that before! Few years ago!

And I'm also feel the unwanted part ~ the same feeling of afraid to loosing it!


Flashback: Few years ago, I think that I can 'see' the future and all our happy endings. It's the most sincere feeling since it's so magical in unspeakable way. I just know it was the right choice, the best decision! But I woke up and cried almost every night, to the worry that "what if" I loose it? What if I'm not going to get it? What if bla bla bla

It's just happen, that it really doesn't realized as I happily wish. The charming and adorable future life that I see, is not ending happily. I loose it, without warning, in a blink of an eye! I try hard not to protest God for what's happen. But maybe I hurt and the wound leave such a clear scar across my heart. I'm still sadden with what happened, and I don't think I will ever forget it totally.

Ops! Don't practice this at home!! *Strictly just for laugh 

Current: Yeah! I start to felt it again. With your presence, I felt some sort of ''clearer sky", "bright-full day" and "walking-and-singing-happily-in-a-garden". Exaggerated? Nope. I'm sincerely felt it. Thou I'm a bit scared about it deep in my heart!

But, the same wicked dream woke me up since yesterday and I was thinking about the same wicked night that I cried in the dark, afraid, too afraid to loose someone! I'm now getting wicked dream of loosing you!

I don't know it's wrong or right? Maybe it's just a coincidence and some people say "lightning won't strike twice, at the same spot''. But...I hate the wicked dream! I try to stand tall this time, I try to think positive and I pray hard that God is not going to let my happy-ending-dream shattered like glass anymore..please!

2012 Resolution out d!

One final post before the calendar turn December! Ok ok it's just nice that tomorrow is 1st of December 2011 which mean a few days after is New Year 2012!

Phew! So many things happen the past 11 month of 2011. Some of it sweet, some of it hurt, some might be surprise etc Anyway here are my resolution for 2012 :) Too early? Nope, it's called a step ahead! hehehe

I thought about it few days ago, but just have today to put it in colour and hang it on the soft-board facing my DIY table. I believe as a women, we are handling many responsibilities. We have a soft-side which is very strong to face any obstacle. Taking care of ourselves, our family, juggling with work and house work etc Anyway I hope I can be a great lady from now on! hahaha *Ganbatte!

Speaking of great, up to date, there are few incoming project which I personally think interesting to give a try. To give much effort into. Best of all, I literally like both of it. Both involving a building something from the beginning to the end ~ sound like handy job which I think I have great passions there :)

Can't wait, I hope both my partners are also eagerly can't wait to do this and will try encouraging each other to give it a best try! Hope to see better me and better future ahead :) Welcome 2012, may we all achieve our dream and work hard to try be the best in what we like to do most :D

embracing the fact that i'm just a human ~ not alien!

aaa!! the post is getting lesser by month! tak boleh jadi nih..! kena rajin menulis..banyak kan post..

kenapa aku menulis, entah siapa pun yang baca? tapi aku seronok meluahkan dengan perkataan. yelah, kan tuhan tu adil. aku tak pandai berkata-kata especially meluahkan rasa, tu sebab aku boleh menulis. dan aku rasa gaya tulisan aku pun tak delah teruk sangat kan...? ha? apa? langsung tak faham? haahaha...

tak kisahlah, janji aku gembira dengan apa yang aku buat. and so far, aku memang akan buat apa yang aku rasa aku suka. yang aku tak suka, sorrylah..ko suruh cemana pun, sure aku buat derk jek! that's a virgoan. ngeh3x

hari ni cuti sempena awal muharam semalam. ooo rupanya semalam tahun baru hijrah! ceh! tak sensitif langsung aku nih! cemana?? banyak betul sebenarnya benda yang aku tak amik tau. banyak yang aku tak pedulikan biarpun perkara-perkara tu sebenarnya penting. entah manusia jenis apalah aku nih.....sob3x sedih!

mood blur! cuti panjang macam ni lah..ingat nak jalan-jalan jek! enjoying every minutes yang aku ada, konon weekday aku sangat busy. memang aku busy pun, tapi tak delah sampai tak ada langsung free time. kadang-kadang bila drive pergi kerja pagi-pagi tu aku selalu selisih dengan kereta besar-besar, no plate power-power etc jam baru pukul 8. tapi diorang tu pun dah sibuk berlumba-lumba nak pergi kerja, cari rezeki. so aku yang naik kelisa ni? tak kan nak pergi kerja pukul 11?? apa barang???

tu lah beza aku dengan diorang. mesti diorang pun sebenarnya kena dan pernah bersusah-susah nak sampai tahap yang diorang ada sekarang. inikan pula aku yang baru je nak bermula nih? ish..ish...jauh betul terkebelakang!

tapi bila refer balik apa yang ustaz aku ajar pagi-pagi kat ansar, bahawa sebenarnya apa pun urusan dunia yang kita sibukkan sekarang ni; setengah mati sibuk, bersengkang mata sibuk, bercawan-cawan kopi supaya boleh siapkan kerja (aku lah tu!), gaduh sana-sini tak puas hati satu sama lain (aku lagi ker??), dan lain-lain lagi; sebenarnya tak ada besar mana pun nilainya di sisi Allah! nilainya mungkin je lebih ringan dari sebelah sayap nyamuk!

saja super imposed..supaya gerun dengan nyamuk! haha

hamek! sebelah sayap nyamuk jek! sapa tak pernah tengok nyamuk? betapa kecik binatang penghisap darah tu, yang selalu mengganggu tidur lena korang, lagi sakit hati bila pukul tak kena! haha sebenarnya tu je nilai susah payah kita untuk urusan dunia ni. aku ulang sekali lagi, urusan duniawi. maksudnya apa-apa je yang kita buat tanpa ada niat kerana Allah. memang semata-mata nak hidup je..

insyaAllah kalau kerja supaya kita tak kebulur rezeki halal, supaya anak-isteri boleh pergi sekolah (menuntut ilmu yer, bukan saja jalan-jalan pergi sekolah!), beli baju yang boleh tutup aurat, supaya umat islam tak meminta-minta, supaya umat islam lebih intelek dari umat lain, insyaAllah adalah nilainya. tapi kalau semata-mata nak beli rumah *aku lagi!! huuu :( tu memang tak patut..

kalau diimbas balik, nabi Sulaiman pun sangat sibuk. lagi sibuk dari mana-mana perdana menteri zaman ni. rakyat jelata bukan je manusia, binatang, jin segala! tapi bila seekor burung bernama hud tak hadir perhimpunan, pun dia tau! pun dia tetap sedar dia cuma hamba Allah. so? patut ke aku sibuk-sibuk yang tak ada makna tu? baru jadi kuli, belum pun jadi boss! ish3x....sob2...

eh tapi itu tak bermakna kita semua patut duduk atas tikar sejadah je siang malam, kat masjid je pagi petang, berdoa zikir munajat. Usaha tetap usaha, kerja tetap kerja. cuma tak boleh melampau sampai lupakan Allah. kan Dia yang beri kita rezeki, patut ke kita sombong dengan boss kita? tak patut kan? nanti tak boleh naik ler kpi! betul kan? so tu contoh paling senang faham la..hahaha

anyway, ada satu ilmu yang aku rasa bagus untuk share dengan korang semua. ni ustaz Yusof yang ajar. dia kata; cuba bayangkan segi tiga. bucu yang atas tu Allah, bucu sebelah kanan tu manusia, sebelah kiri pula syurga. kenapa kita kena solat, puasa, sedekah, haji etc? ramai yang sangka, supaya boleh dapat syurga. sebenarnya, tak siapa mampu 'membeli' syurga dengan amalan solat, puasa, sedekah etc melainkan dengan rahmat Allah.

kata ustaz, syurga tu sangat mahal sebab ia sangat indah. dengan segala nikmat yang tak terlintas oleh akal manusia. jadi, selayaknya tak ada sesiapa pun yang mampu memilikinya, kecuali dengan rahmat Allah. sebenarnya Dia tak kisah pun, tak perlu pun, pada solat, puasa atau pun ibadah kita. Dia 'berdiri' sendiri tanpa perlu pada hambaNya. cuma Dia 'suka' melihat kita solat, sujud, berdoa, berharap, meminta, merendah diri etc padaNya

mcm ni lah lebih kurang lukisan ustaz Yusuf tu..

so di antara manusia dengan syurga ada satu titian, namanya Siratal Mustaqim. titian ni lah yang kita bina melalui solat, puasa, segala amal ibadah kita. tapi tetap tak mampu membeli syurga! kita cuma bina jambatan nak ke syurga. cuba bayangkan pula, kalau kita tak buat apa yang Allah suruh, tak solat, tak puasa, tak tutup aurat etc apa terjadi pada 'jambatan' kita? sampai ke jambatan kita ke syurga? kalau buat, tapi biasa-biasa je? kukuh ke jambatan kita tu?

apa tu titian Siratal Mustaqim? dalam surah al-fatihah, ayat ke-lima bermaksud "tunjukkanlah aku jalan yang benar". itulah titian sirat. aku rasa, pernah ustaz-ustaz kita ceritakan dulu, titian tu sebesar sehelai rambut yang dibelah tujuh! *untuk orang yang tak baik sangat macam aku! :(  di bawah titian tu, ada neraka yang apinya marak menjulang-julang. menunggu je siapa jatuh ke dalamnya! nauzubillah...

so moral of the story, aku menulis berdasarkan pengalaman aku sendiri. ada satu masa, aku sangat gemuruh jiwa sebab aku tak berjaya siapkan kerja aku seperti yang boss aku nak. sure aku rasa tension giler! aku kan perfectionist! all the way pagi tu memang aku rasa down giler..rasa nak mc! tapi all the way aku berfikir dan terfikir..aku cuma manusia biasa. aku tak sempurna, biar pun aku dah cuba nak sempurnakan semua perkara. bukan sebab aku malas nak buat, tapi memang aku tak cukup masa nak siapkan isnin tu!

while on the last traffic light nak sampai office, aku diilhamkan bahawa 'it's ok, i've try my best. aku cuma manusia biasa'. dan kenapa aku ditakdirkan tak dapat juga siapkan kerja tu hari tu, walau pun dah cuba letakkan sebanyak mungkin masa, ialah supaya aku berharap dan meminta tolong padaNya, janganlah bagi boss aku masuk hari ni! dalam masa yang sama, menyedarkan aku hakikat, aku ni lemah. perlukan Dia sebagai penolong.

ending, memang boss aku masuk lambat hari tu. dan dia pun tak tanya pasal kerja yang dia suruh aku buat! alhamdulillah! tapi aku bersungguh-sungguh balik nak bagi siap kerja tu as soon as possible, and rabu tu aku berjaya siapkan. tapi yang penting, apa yang aku belajar dari situ..hakikat bahawa aku manusia biasa! bahawa hidup ni bukan hanya untuk di sini, tapi lebih penting untuk hidup di sana.

well, thanks baca sampai ke akhir ni. post terpanjang kot? hihihi insyaAllah, semoga ada manfaat dari tulisan aku ni yang tak seberapa. bukan nak  belagak bagus, just sharing. Sharing mean i care :)

p/s semoga aku jadi manusia yang lebih sensitif dalam hal-hal membangunkan umat, amin.

terbang burung besi, terbang!

ahahahha baru beroleh keyakinan aka kerajinan nak menulis semula setelah beberapa hari tumpul! erm...tumpul terhasil daripada malas! ngeh3x

weekend yang sungguh merehatkan diri. tak pergi mana-mana, yang paling penting tak buat apa-apa! wahhhh...ini baru namanya cuti! ki3 ahad pergi rumah normah kawin, ek eh? senang pula cari rumahnya! last time masa bertunang, giler x jumpa! sampai majlis habis pun aku tak sampai-sampai..!

sebenarnya aku dah lama giler tak pergi wedding sape2. malas. tahap dewa! HAHAHA tapi kali ni sebab x-office mate so, pergi je lah..tak bawa present pun since tak tau nak beli apa. bagi je la hadiah wang ringgit, sukati ko lah normah, nak beli apa...hihihi

jumpalah few of imt's past and present. jumpa couple hot imt skang! ikikiki ni part tak leh tahan nih! bwahahaha tapi tak pelah, janji korang berdua bahagia. aku doakan je lah, bahagia hingga akhirnya. amin. faktor siapa, usia, pangkat, darjat, tolak tepi. yang penting, the other bring better thing/life for the other one...

cam biasa, aku consider dia dah macam bapak aku jek. so i wish him the best lah :) moga dia tak sunyi lagi..hihihi

tu pun sempat juga mengenakan aku dengan soalan 'biasa' dia tu. aku bila lagi? tak jumpa lagi? nanti jangan lupa jemput..oooo yelah, taulah dia dah jumpa. saja je bagi aku jeles! ahahaha aku pun selamba je bagi sedas, ''lepas en Zai-nur (spell check! :D) lah..nanti jangan senyap-senyap yer.." akakakaka

lepas tu memasing merah muka bila time lagu "kenapa tak kawin lagi" by ali mamak kot..carilah kat youtube..aku pun x taw sangat lagu-lagu lama nih. standard lagu umah orang kawin r..

ok, anyway aku jumpa satu lagu yang amat aku suka kat you tube. Departure ~ dari drama Good Luck! Drama tu berjaya buat aku mengalir air mata tengok! Kesungguhan seorang Shinkai Hajime, nak jadi kapten pilot. Aku sangat suka deko rumah dia, comel gilak! Aku memang suka drama Jepun, macam tengok ultraman. semangat!! tambah plak, aku memang suka kapal terbang. wah!!! lagi semangat jadinya! hahahahah *my inner child!

so, enjoy the weekend. i hope sometime in the near future, aku akan boleh melompat gembira macam shinkai, macam matsu-jun; whatever the reason is! :)

sila dengar kuat-kuat :)

sebenarnya aku selalu tertanya-tanya, apakah yang memberikan manusia kesungguhan? sebab apa? macam mana? dari mana?

caffeine week, heartless heart attack etc

Writing in rush again. Still got things to do, plenty more than handful. But I'm so glad and relieve as long as I can jot down some of the thoughts, anger and idea I came across while hustling with the task!

In the most difficult situation is where we usually encounter our strength. Discover more about ourselves. If we decide to learn! If we decide to think and take positive. But we will fall to the pitch of blackness, hopelessness etc if we decide to call it quit.

Yup. I'm no exception.

I hate what had happen, I hate the situation, I hate the person. I would definitely won't accept his apology no matter if he say it every time after personally attacking me. His act like a mad-dog thirst for attention from his master shaking his tails with tongue sticking out and saliva dripping everywhere; ewww if only I could kick this dog away!

Sorry, no offence to any dog or dog-lovers. I like dog as much as I love cats. But this dog seriously need some lesson to be quiet. What do you suggest?

I'm going to be adult. I'm going to speak to him one-on-one. See what is his really itch down there! If he think he's soooo damnnn gooood, I don't mind stepping down and walk away. I got so much strength from my previous fights in iql! So I have no worry at all! They can get lost with this dog and see where they up to, in the next few month!

In hybrid world, we fight by works. But in pure world, we fight with words. Lot of words! How pathetic..!


For each (such person) there are (angels) in succession, before and behind him: They guard him by command of Allah. Verily never will Allah change the condition of a people until they change it themselves (with their own souls). But when (once) Allah willeth a people's punishment, there can be no turning it back, nor will they find, besides Him, any to protect. (Al-Ra‘d 13:11)

 

holes inside

There are things happen today that make me so energy-less. Drained. To the extend of me feel so zero! Tired to rebel anymore. Waste my limited energy..

I remember something, about a friend of mind. Think I never write anything about him here before rite? Ok, basically we're NOT friend. He's a 'separate' office-mate who's on his own - all the time. In fact I don't really like him!

But once, he fall ill, have to be admitted to hospital. About two month absence. He used to be unfriendly, so I think no one really care where he was etc The only people care about him is this 'iron-lady' and kak yatie. After about two month missing, I started feel curious about him. What take him so long to stay in a hospital? And how come no one seem to care?

That time I was part of HR. And I think, it's part of our duty to 'build' relationship with employees. Plus I think I knew why, no one seem to care. So I suggest to my boss to pay him a visit. I know he use to be a 'strong' figure. So I hope for at least he knew that 'we' all care for him. So when he came back, we all have a greater and stronger relationship.

Who know, the very early morning after our visit the previous evening, he went on. I can't sleep that night and keep thinking about him. Woke up by a call from my boss, saying he's gone. Speechless.

I think all these while, he stay strong because he is a strong figure. Because he don't really care about anyone. And I think he fight the disease just the way he 'fight' in his work. Except that when 'we' come and show 'our' support, he's wall of 'egoism' crumble. And he surrender.

I wonder, is he surrender with thoughts that he actually cared? If so, then he surely satisfied. I hope.

Then now, few month's after. Iron-lady was admitted to hospital. She was a strong figure in my previous office as well. I can't deny that I'm shock and little bit nervous. I'm not prepare to hear another shocking news. We are not so close as well, but I look up to her as strong women. That's why I named her iron-lady!

She's a single mother. Raising a very young daughter. And I remember clearly, she said one of her reason to stay strong is her daughter saying 'I will love you, mama' on the day she officially divorce from her husband. It was a pure confession when she see's that a man who once love her and her mother, walk away from their live.

From what I heard, she's doing fine and I really hope too. My prayer goes to her and may she stay strong for the sake of her daughter. Anyway, I know she could make this through! :) Ganbatte..!

As for me.....won't say no more.


Full song : These Broken Hands of Mine ~ Joe Brooks

The apple of my eye

I'm NOT eyeing on any apple's here! But something more..hehe (blushed!)

ok-ok, writing in rush since it's 7.20am and I should be ready in few more minutes before going to work, usually around 8am. Been woke up since 4am. Didn't managed to woke up at 2am since yesterday is kinda hectic. phew!

After busy day at work, have to rushed to Cititel MidValley to attend free seminar on internet marketing. Yup, nothing much. But good for beginner's like me and some of it can be testing for my own first :) Will find some time later to get back on this..and yeah, will get this news to kak yatie, soon to be partner-in-crime! hahaha

Ops..wanna capture this. "Flower of this purple dye, Hit with Cupid archery, Sink in apple of his eye." Shakespeare, A Midsummer's Night Dream (1600)

Wahhhh! I become even more poetic nowadays! :D

Nope, but seem to feel little bit jumping hapiiiiileeee inside me, when I see your photo! haha Maybe I was just tired, and need some time off. (Because I started to be mad-alien little less now!) and I think it's not weird besides this is the fact where human's brain will leak some kind of happy hormone when seeing photo/pic of their spouse/children. This goes together with hugging/touching the person.

Ok ~ in simple english: I'm feeling happy and relieve, seeing your image. Make me smile :) Thanks...(thou you don't know!)    

seeing this apple make me feel happy as well! :D

omedetto, alien-orange!

Extra post!

Saja tengok statistic tadi. Wahhhhhh....blog aku telah dibaca (atau pun mungkin telah 'tercapai') hingga ke Ukraine! Giler ah..! :D

Sebenarnya pencapaian ni taklah dirancang, aku sekadar menulis. Sebab aku memang suka pun menulis ni! Hihihi Started with aku nak buat biography (memoir) yang anak-cucu boleh baca, so aku try tulis apa-apa jek. Practice makes perfect. Hopefully one day, I'll be someone small who doing some big things in writing :D

... 99.9% of people lead boring lives. But every single one of them is trying to make some sense out of his or her existence, to find some meaning in the world, and therein lies the value and opportunity of a memoir...
~ Joe Kita, in The Story of Your Life (RD March 2009)

Thanks sangat-sangat to my friends and follower or anyone yang comment and read my humble blog. Hopefully from the sharing, ada point yang korang boleh belajar dan ambil iktibar walau pun aku yang menulisnya ni, tak perasan! haha InsyaAllah, may it benefit. Bukan sekadar rebel kosong!

alien-orange ke serata dunia..! :D

It's humble beginning. Tapi ini pun dah cukup buat aku 'banggak-gilak' :D Betul kata orang, membaca buat kita 'sampai' tempat yang kita tak pernah sampai! Aku tak pernah sampai Rusia, tapi aku dah '4x' pergi! ahahahaha

Anyway, thanks sekali lagi to everyone. Mari sama-sama kongsikan pendapat atau idea dengan menulis blog :) Semoga perkongsian ni, membawa manfaat :)

my small contribution to change the world..

life is about making choices

Hari ni pergi keje dengan perasaan bimbang! ekekeke sebab financial part tak crystal clear lagi..last friday boss suda minta..aaaaaAAAaAAa..sorry, aku spend the weekend figure out things..tapi can't come out with solution. Well, nice..i try thou :)

So tadi, aku discuss dengan AGM yang macam anchor kat ansar. Aku suka discuss dengan dia ni, meeting dengan dia kat shah alam hari tu kali pertama aku jumpa dia. Tapi aku dah suka cara dia yang straight forward, semangat, jelas dan teliti. Wah! She's  another idol...haha She make me clear and support me internally untuk come out with something best!

Oleh itu, aku akan gunakan kreativiti yang bit tumpul ni untuk come out with solution. Simple but thoughtful. Supported with data yang ada at hands..Lagi satu, aku suka discuss dengan dia sebab dia akan block schedule untuk meeting. Tak distracted so aku yang meeting dengan dia pun boleh solve problem aku instead of carried away. Ada orang yang gelabah atau busy sangat, sampai aku cakap lain, dia cakap lain..last x selesai masalah..

Sorry yer boss, saya bukan tak nak discuss dengan boss. Saya jumpa boss untuk final decision jek. Discussion ni I prefer jumpa AGM since dia lebih free. hehehe

So, in works memang banyak nak kejar..Aku kena prepare a step forward before the team, since I'm guiding. I need to know more before they know. Prepare. So I'm heading. So far, no problem. 'Webmasta' added dengan experiences dia mmg banyak bagi step by step guide based from her experiences. So very helpful :) Plus sebab kitorang sama-sama freshmen, easy to get along..

Pagi dah bimbang dengan boss, tapi lega sebab boss tak masuk. Jumpa client. And dah settle dengan AGM. Petang si soseh plak. Dia nak tau bila boleh dapat mini studio macamlah mende tu important ingredient. Aiiii geram pula aku dengar! Dia cakap dah lama dah, nape x sampai2? Ko ingat beli pakai duit aku ye? Mentang boss kaya, 500 tu kecik je la e?

Tak pe, sabar separuh dari iman. akakaaka Aku jawab, sabar..boss tengah view. Memanglah aku ada access account ebay tu furnish dengan payment detail, tapi itu bukan duit aku yer..Boss tak cakap pun, ok beli mana-mana, tak kisah. So kenalah aku bertindak sikit bijak. By the way, mini studio tu bukanlah cream of the cake. It's just cherry buat perhiasan sebab gambar product lama masih boleh pakai. Sabar yer, makcik..

Speaking of sabar juga, maybe dah jadi habit company 'pure blood' untuk point out mende tak penting while on meeting. And instead of discussing the important things, they prefer to focus on small thing which I repeatedly say 'not to worry'. Contoh pasal saiz mini studio, it takes good 5-10 minutes imagining the size eventhou aku dah cakap i dah proposed another bigger size. I  brought up the matter as comparison in price and physical outlook. Not that I want to buy the said size! Tapi semua orang sibuk argue and imagine juga size kecik tu sekecik mana!

Pelik.

Sama macam masa meeting web hari tu. Semua orang sibuk bercerita tentang pengalaman diorang buat programming. Ada ke aku buat interview pasal tu? Kalau korang ada experience pun, aku tak akan suruh, since kan dah ada webmaster. She's obviously master on the field. So I don't need to 'interview' other 'candidates' rite?

My assistant is bit blur-blur. Sayang! Belajar kat oversea tapi balik Malaysia kerja sendiri. So tak ada experience kerja dengan orang, and agak bimbang sebab dia start dengan pure blood ~ less professional. Even thou aku start jauh dari bawah, tapi aku bersyukur dan berterima kasih juga kat company-company aku yang lama. Since aku banyak belajar makna 'bersaing' dan 'professional' dari diorang :) See, my assistant muka-nak-nangis bila AGM minta report to be emailed end of the day. Hope, he learn a lot later..aku punya report pun dia blom bagi lagi dari last week!  

my advice! :D

So, why life is about making choices? Sebab kita memang ada banyak decision nak kena buat. Sometime we get tired of being careful, so we slacking. Obviously, it's our life that we mess it! Tapi, be positive. It's only because you know dark, that you realized you need light. Few wrong decision, few wrong choices, will led you to correct and better choice! :) Don't worry...you'll be wiser along with time.

Another news about my ex-colleague - hospitalized. Cancer. Hate the fact that more healthy people I know is getting sick! Phobia. But I hope, she's doing fine. Hope she's strong enough and fight to the end :) She's the iron-lady I used to look up to when in imt. Chayo2!!

Extra ~ perasaan mixed with bimbang and geram. Maybe stress out sebab sometime aku rasa I'm doing this 'alone'. Especially bila ada orang seperti makcik soseh. Choose side? Afraid too! Sebab aku prefer stand on my own ground. If I'm good, then I'm.

Cuma sometime even in one team, I feel alone...maybe I'm feeling low to be compared with luxury baby! Pasal BP tu lar..tapi today, I'm a step further since aku dah go to financial part - cream of the cake! slurp..

Giler kuasa!

Aargh..banyak giler rupanya aku nak kena prepare! Mind map yang aku buat, analisis kat mana aku and dah sampai tahap mana; menunjukkan banyak giler dan bercabang-cabang mende yang aku nak kena buat! huiyoo..

Nampaknya kena bawak nescafe gold (yang bau sedap giler nih!) ke mana-mana supaya aku tak tido! Ahah..teringat seseorang, yang suka minum nescafe, supaya 'stay hyper' katanya! Betul lah..kini aku setuju dengannya... :)

helpers.. :D

Tu la, dari hari tu tak nak buat! Ahaha aku kan suka pressure..it make my mind sharper! Hopefully no matter how much difficult this may seem, aku still berjaya make it to the end! Chayok2x! Tapi best of all, bila aku 'terpaksa' ni, aku belajar dengan lebih jelas apa sebenarnya yang aku cari. Aku fikirkan penyelesaian dengan lebih jelas, as if this are my money..and I like it, to the max! Sebab aku lebih faham.. :)

i want 1 ~ too..

haha..tarikh hari ni best! Sempatlah aku menjeling jam kat laptop bila "11/11/2011 11.11AM" tadi pagi. Dan lepas tu semua orang pun sibuk pasal tarikh hari ni. Dalam hati, ler? Baru tau ke tarikh hari ni cun? Aku dah setahun perasan! :D

Paling tak tahan, lepas tu Mak cik Soseh pun memutarkan lagu "Berdebar rasa hati, bercampur dengan rasa suka. Hari yang dinanti, sudah sampai lah masanya...bla bla bla" Aku tak tau tajuk lagu ni. Tapi time orang kawin selalu ada pasang! Sebab kitorang punya officemate hari ni last jadi "cik", minggu depan sudah bergelar isteri orang daa...

Well, aku tak de perasaan! haha Hari ni rasa macam tak buat apa pun..Pagi sampai tengah hari aku study financial part yang bodoh tu! Hahaha aku cakap bodoh sebab aku kena study balik segala teori financial tu. Kalau tak, aku pun tak tau nak tulis apa...bukanlah teori tu yang bodoh, melainkan....erm...aaa..aku ke??? hahaha

Then tengah hari aku survey kek kahwin untuk member aku ni ha..sekali mak cik Soseh lalu belakang aku. Ha, ni apa kek-kek wedding ni? Meh la join the club..! Tak habis-habis nak ajak aku join 'kelab wifey". Best..Yelah tu! (baca dengan muka 10 sen!)

Lepas tu aku pergi tidur sampai pukul 3. Eh-eh jangan salah anggap yer, aku bukan 'ular'..Tapi kitorang memang boleh break setengah jam untuk tido. Hehehe best kan? Oleh sebab hari Jumaat sampai 2.30, tu yang aku bole tido sampai 3pm. Turun-turun je, luxury baby ajak pergi Marche kat Curve. Rupanya boss dah sampai! So kemas-kemas and terus pergi..

Since my house memang 'belakang' Curve, so aku balik awal lah hari ni! hihihihi

Dah lama tak pergi Curve! Jarang pergi sebab sekarang aku dah tak lalu Curve lagi. Kalau pergi pun, Ikano atau e@Curve jek. Kenapa kitorang pergi Marche? Saja tengok konsep. Discuss pasal BP lagi online and offline! Adeh..bosan! Rasa muka aku dah tumbuh kulat kot tiap kali kuar topik nih! Bosan..sebab aku lebih suka buat benda yang dah ada depan mata. Plan-plan ni, memanglah best. Indah semua, boleh belaka! Lepas tu nak realisasikan tu?? Adeiii...

Mujurlah online aku tu next week dah boleh mula mengupload etc So this weekend aku akan sibuk buat background details so next week, bila semua orang 'attack' aku minta itu-ini aku dah ready! hehehe Diorang ni kadang tu buat aku hangin jek! Da tau aku tak de background IT, tanya soalan IT. Aku sepak kang...tensi! Tapi itu je pun yang dia tau nak tanya..sebab tu background dia! Aci x? Tu lagi satu, sweet-toothy aka kaki kipas!

Bagi bab goreng, kat dialah..semua boleh. Semua indah belaka! Lepas tu kat belakang boss, kata tak boleh. Sekeh kang! Hangin jek..Si luxury baby tu dah kena dah sekali dengan aku. Ada ke tanya, boleh buat email nak inform web under maintenance? Ayat power-power sikit. Hek eleh!!! Ingat aku buta kayu macam kau! Walau pun tak terer, setakat nak bagi tau web under maintenance pun susah meh?! Menyampah...aku buat muka 5 sen jek bila dia tanya..Dalam hati, kenapa? Ko nak buat juga email tu?! Buatlah! Ada aku kisah!?

Apesal aku asyik hangin jek nih? Entah. Aku pun tak tau..maybe dah bosan sebab perlahan sangat activity. Biasa aku kan multitask giler-giler. So bila keje aku buat BP yang duduk diam-diam study, aku pun naik berkulat lar..Tu yang semua pun terasa tak kena jek...Grrrrr...

Balik aku singgah Carefour depan rumah. Beli meja, sebab nak bersungguh buat kerja background tu. Hopefully this weekend, aku tapau giler-giler! Monday boleh present! Kau tengok r, luxury baby, aku pun boleh buat BP best r....!

Something best happen! Aku buang kotak tu siap-siap, tanpa mengetahui instruction manual tu ada lukis kat kotak! Aiseh! So aku jadi arkitek/engineer la tadi memasang meja DIY tanpa manual! Hahaha Berjaya lar..Tengok ar sapa yang pasang...! :D Ni sakit-sakit jari sebab putar skru! Huhuhu tapi best, aku memang suka assemble barang...

Tak sabar nak tunggu MG aku! wahhh...i bet, seminggu dah siap! haha Orang lain, amik sebulan mau..hihihi Oklah, perasaan sangat seronok sebab menulis kat meja baru. Bukan apa, sebelum ni meja Jepun. So tak boleh lama-lama, nanti sakit belakang! Orait..aku nak pergi minum, celebrate my success! :)

i'm rocks!! :D

Metamorphosis

Aku benci perasaan ni, perasaan seorang kalah!

Apesal ar...kenapa aku sedih pula? Sedih kerana terharu kah? Aku merajuk kah? Tapi aku memang malas nak cakap dengan kau. Kau asyik sibuk je kan?

So hari ni kau tak sibuklah? Sebab kau akhirnya break the silence. Yeay! Aku menang..tapi aku kalah juga!

Sebab kau adalah sesuatu yang paling susah nak aku tinggalkan. Paling jahat yang aku sanggup maafkan. Paling kejam yang aku diamkan. Paling jauh yang aku dekatkan. Paling menyampahkan yang aku sanggup terima! (See, bodoh juga aku ni! Buat abis duit belajar tinggi-tinggi jek! akaka)

Aku rasa kalah sebab banyak kali aku nak buang kau jauh-jauh, nak tinggal kau kat mana-mana je..tapi tak boleh! Sebab setiap kali pun, kau cuma cakap 'Sorry' (don't know if you really mean it thou..) and aku boleh terima. Aku benci kau, dan semua yang kita pernah ada..dan sampai sekarang pun aku tak tahu kenapa Tuhan takdirkan perkara yang 'membazir' contohnya memori kita..sebab aku tak nampak apakah akhirnya?

Ok, kau busy baguslah. Kau rajin. Dan aku cuba beri kau sokongan dengan tak nak kacau kau. Dan bila-bila masa, kau boleh mengadu kau sakitlah, penatlah etc Aku akan jadi superwomen yang support kau 100% Guarantee! Tapi lepas tu kau sibuk memanjangggggg...at some point aku rasa 'lupa' pasal kau..then aku rasa kau tak perlukan aku kot..? Kau dah boleh berdiri sendiri. So aku pun nak abandon kau kat mana-mana...

Tapi aku tahu, tak boleh! Sebab kalau kau tak ada, hari-hari aku pun jadi perlahan..everyday it will rain..(huiyooo! :0 metaphors tu!) Dan lepas tu kau pun cakap sorry, dan kita bermula semula...

*Ini cycle butterfly ker? Metamorphosis?

i understand the burden if you choose my side..

*Mungkin, sebab kau 'paling' seperti di atas, jadi aku selalu kena berusaha. Selalu tak boleh sit still, kau buat aku 'bergerak'. Kau buat aku 'bernafas' dalam dunia yang aku rasa 'mati'. Kau buat aku constantly challenged..

Ok-ok, sekarang aku dah faham! :) Alhamdulillah, ilham...!

tiada tajuk

Kalau orang putih, di panggil 'untitled'..

Kenapa untitle? Sebab hari ni banyak perkara dan rasa beraduk dalam diri. Di penghujung hari, yang ada adalah tanda tanya tak berjawapan. Selain tu, kisah lama yang malas nak ingat lagi..

Ada 'dingin' perang kat 'cakerawala' hari ni sebab email yang aku hantar. Aku tanya je, nak clarify. Kenapa dia buat BP yang aku buat juga? Sebab aku dah bagi draft aku kat boss, cemana dia pun buat draft dia pula? Mana satu dan siapa sebenarnya patut buang masa buat BP tu?

Si luxury baby ni la, aku tahu la kau senior sikit dari aku, tapi tak payahlah poyo-poyo reply email aku and cc semua orang. Aku tanya dia sorang jek..jaga privacy dia as if dia sangat special! Dia pula reply and cc semua management! Cis! Ini sudah cari perang ni....!

Tak kisahlah kalau kau senior amat-amat pun, tak payahlah buat something yang not yours. As if kau tak boleh cakap dengan aku, minta aku buat BP lebih menarik, bergambar sana sini segala? It's my project! Kau dulu tak belajar 'territoriality' meh? Sebab kau senior kau boleh email apa-apa je? Sebab kau executive kau boleh overshadow sapa-sapa je? Paling penting: Kau dah tak ada KERJA LAIN dah ke? Sampai ada banyak masa nak buat BP aku?!

Kalau free sangat, kenapa dari awal tak kau angkat tangan volunteer nak buat BP tu?! Kenapa tak kau halang boss hired aku to manage the project? Why? I heard kau dah sibuk tak cukup tangan dengan kilang, dengan certify, dengan itu-ini (yang tak nampak apa-apa tu!). Tapi ada masa nak buat BP yang dah terang-terang ada project coord yang handle! Siap ada assistant lagi. Kau nak suruh kitorang buat apa pula kalau kau nak buat kerja kitorang nih? Apa motif kau nih!?

Ishh..dulu si makcik soseh-soseh, ni luxury baby ni pula! Apa masalah korang ni? Tazkirah tiap-tiap pagi dah bagi. Solat tiap Zohor-Asar dah jemaah. Siap ada mini-tazkirah lagi lepas Asar. Tu pun tak cukup bagi korang sejukkan hati tu? Eii kawan, ansar tu tak besar mana pun. Sorong-tarik, dapat kat kita-kita juga. Yang nak berebut sangat ni kenapa? Yang tergugat sangat ni apesal? Tak boleh mesyuarat lagi dah? Tak boleh ijma' lagi dah?

Kenapa aku bising pasal BP tu? Sebab nanti semua orang, tanpa disedari, buang masa buat benda yang sama! Sedangkan boleh buat benda lain. Nanti korang juga mengadu, overload la etc Lagi satu, at the end nanti, apa yang aku draft tak sama dengan yang kau draft..macam mana nak finalised? Nak kena check balik satu-satu...masa lagi...tu pun kau tak boleh fikir? MMU tak ajar ke dulu? Kalau MMU tak ajar pun, kau tak boleh fikir? Dulu kerja Matrade-mark tu tak belajar territoriallity? Superiority? Office communication etiquette? Kau melancong sana-sini, dok agungkan sangat Singapore tu, mende simple macam ni pun kau tak boleh fikir?!   

Ok, dah tamat satu chapter.

Seterusnya: Rupanya perangai si makcik soseh-soseh yang turut mengalami "syndrome-tergugat" tu bukan hanya menjentik hati aku, rupanya webmasta baru aku ni pun sedar! So masa lunch dia mengadulah pasal 'seorang' ni, alih-alih aku tahu sapa! Sangat obvious! Sampai kitorang tergelak-gelak tak sangka kitorang sama pendapat! Hah! Memang sah, webmasta ni pun turut memberi pendapat, yang diorang tu jadi macam tu sebab rasa tergugat!

Masalahnya, siapalah kitorang ni nak gugat korang? Kitorang baru lagi, mungkin ada pengalaman sikit, background company previous besar sikit etc Tapi last-last kitorang kat ansar juga. Maknanya kita sama je..Sepatutnya kitorang yang tergugat, sebab korang dah lama. Boss pun senang faham korang punya mind instead of cara fikir kitorang. Tapi kenapalah korang yang tergugat? Or actually korang ni saja nak bagi tau power korang? Eley aku tak heran! Kau ingat aku heran sangat? FYI masa aku sekolah dulu senior aku (ketua pengawas aspuri) siap nak lempang aku sebab aku tak ingat dia kelas apa! Aku peduli apa? Ada aku kisah kau kelas apa? Kau pun bukan tahu sangat, aku kelas apa! So, fair la!

Huh..lega! Tamat chapter 2..

Next: Terserempak kawan lama, eceh! Kawan? *wink2 Haha Dia memang kawan, kawan yang baik. Selalu pun dia sangat baik. Tapi janganlah baik sangat, nanti orang pijak-pijak kamu! Hakikatnya, kita sama rata. Masing-masing ada kelebihan. Tak ada bodoh-pandai. Dulu aku paling tak suka bila dia mengaku "saya orang bodoh".

Aku speechless.

Dari segi pendidikan, dia memang tak berpendidikan tinggi. Tapi dari segi hati, dia lebih baik hati juga. Selalu ambil berat tentang orang lain. Selalu tak pentingkan diri sendiri. Selalu kacau aku, tapi sebab dia seorang yang pentingkan kawan! :) Dan paling penting, satu-satunya yang panggil aku dengan gelaran yang aku rasa paling comel kedengaran di telinga! wahahaha

Dia dah sedikit berubah berbanding dulu. Bila aku tanya kenapa, dia cakap sebab dulu aku suka usik dia! Dia dah menyesal hingga berubah! hahaha Tapi, jujurnya aku rasa dia yang dulu lebih comel dari sekarang! Betul ni, tak tipu.. :)

Tutup chapter dengan senyum :)

Last: Aku dapat komen dari seseorang. Ok, post tu memang agak kontroversial, tapi itu kebenarannya. I'm rebellious, remember? Thus I wrote what I like.

Rasanya aku kenal dari siapa. Aku tak nak publish komen tu sebab aku rasa tak perlu. Thanks anyway, for the longest komen...

Sebolehnya aku tak nak tahu apa-apa tentang kau. Bukan kerana benci, menyampah dan yang sama waktu dengannya. Tapi aku tak nak sakitkan kau lagi, sebab sakitkan kau hanya akan menyakitkan aku balik! Aku benci perasaan sakit tu..

Aku memang suka batman, tapi aku juga bukan orang jahat!     

Soal hati

Mari cakap pasal hati..

Aku pinjam dari blog yang aku jumpa..http://suriadihatiku.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html


"Kata Hassan Al-Banna; Berilah hatimu hanya untuk Allah, pasti Allah temukan padamu pemilik terbaik. Hamparkan masamu seluasnya hanya untuk Allah, pasti Allah aturkan seluruh hidupmu sebaik-baiknya!


........


Kalau umurku panjang, akan adakah seseorang yang baik disisiku yang akan menjagaku sepenuh hatinya? Ku tunggu cinta sejati ku dari Allah".


Aku rasa, blog tu budak kecik yang tulis! haha Tapi dia telah memahami dunianya. Bagus! Semoga dia lebih faham bila dia semakin dewasa.. :)

Sejak akhir-akhir ni, kepala ku pusing! Bukan soal kerja, tapi soal hati. Ah! Benci betul! Terasa sangat susah, hanya untuk menterjemah hati sendiri! Setahu aku, aku selalu guna bahasa melayu juga. Tapi entah kenapa, susah pula aku nak faham maknanya! Haish...

Salah ke kalau aku cakap; hati tu memang dalam badan aku. Fizikalnya. Tapi apa yang hati tu rasa, pilih, mahu etc adalah diluar kemampuan aku untuk kontrol. Betulkan?

Dan kerana hati + kepala batu ni, aku terasa dunia berpusing-pusing! Bukan sekali, banyak kali aku persoalkan; kalau tak kesampaian, kenapa manusia ada perasaan? Kenapa cipta manusia dengan perasaan terutamanya cinta/sayang? (Segan sebenarnya nak tulis dua perkataan tu! ahaha See, aku orang besar yang kecik pemikiran!)

Arghhh kalaulah boleh aku buang dalam longkang ke, dah lama dah aku buang. Tak pun, hantar kat rumah 'perasaan yatim'. Ahahaha Bengos..Tapi, tak boleh. The more aku cuba, the more aku pusing! Ok-ok, aku nak kahwin. Aku bukan nak bercinta. Definasinya berbeza sebab tujuannya lebih jelas. Aku nak mulakan hidup baru yang lebih baik. (Two is better than one? Eceh..speaking pula!)

Masalah aku ialah, orang selalu expect aku sudah berpunya! Hahaha Aku pun tak tahu, tang mana diorang tengok tah..dari dulu lagi..dari zaman aku sekolah-sekolah! Well, taklah kritikal. Tapi, sure orang takut nak approach kan? Aishh....runsing!

Sebenarnya, aku tak sabar nak jumpa 'en. ekhem2' ni. Sebab aku teringin nak tahu, cemana rupanya? Siapakah beliau? Sangat hebatkah? Hingga semua orang tak berani dekat aku, sebab dari awal lagi orang dah anggap aku telah dimilikinya..(ahahaha dimiliki? wajar sungguh perkataan nih!)

Tapi tu r, dia tak juga sampai-sampai! Emak bapak aku tu dah malas nak tanya, aku pun dah naik segan dah nih. Adik beradik plak, tak habis-habis nak usik. Ish..tensi..tensi..Aku tak marah pun, cuma kadang tu aku harap tak menghampakan sesiapa. Dan sebenarnya, buat yang beranggapan aku telah berpunya; aku sangat ingin nak bagi tau siapa en. ekhem2 tu, duduk mana, umur berapa, kerja apa...sangat ingin nak tukar status kat fb 'enggange or married to'..sangat ingin nak upload gambar baby kitorang..tapi...

Aku single lagi lar...and aku pun tak begitu suka fact tu! (..muncung..)

Ok-ok, enough there..selebihnya aku nak tulis. Kalau aku panjang umur, wajarkah aku cari hati yang sudi menjaga aku sepenuh hatinya? Sebab aku nak bagi hati aku pada Allah. Bila hati aku ditemukan dengan hati en. ekhem2 tu nanti, cemana pula? Kena pula bahagi dua! Sebab aku seorang yang loyal, virgo-an memang macam ni! kikiki So cemana? Apakah pandangan anda? Mesti runsing!

Soalan orang runsing 'ni' memang selalu merunsingkan! kakaka

Oklah, soalan tu mengarut..! yang sebenarnya, aku tengah sakit hati. Atas sebab-sebab berkaitan di atas juga la..aku tak tahu mana nak cari ubat nih! So aku harap, en. ekhem2 sudi menjadi penguat semangat aku menghadapi hidup ni dan buat persediaan untuk hidup abadi lepas ni. Tu jek...*cepat-cepat sikit datang! akakaka

*ditulis sempena tarikh hari jumaat minggu ni..nge3x bengos tahap merah! tahap amaran dah nih!



I'll never be your mother's favorite, your daddy can't look me in the eye. If I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing

clock start now

Dah lama tak makan sushi :(

Sejak-sejak Sushi King dah tak lagi halal, dan begitu juga kebanyakkan sushi yang ada kat Malaysia, aku dah tak makan sushi lagi..kalau dulu, suka menghabiskan masa tertekan dengan makan sushi + wasabi! Mencabar diri makan 'pedas' wasabi yang 'menggigit' kerongkong dan makan ikan mentah! haha

Tiba-tiba teringin nak buat sushi sendiri. Hmm..menarik! Since raya haji ni aku maybe tak balik kampung, sebab minggu lepas dah balik. So aku plan nak buat experiment dengan sushi! Wa..jemput la ye sesape yang tak balik beraya untuk mencuba sushi saya nanti :)

Selain tu plan untuk mendaki bukit-bukit dan gunung yang ada kat Malaysia ni especially area dekat-dekat KL, Selangor ni akan diteruskan juga. And dengan kak yatie aku ada plan nak design baju-baju ladies collection untuk online market. Hah..mana tau aku ada bakat as fashion designer?

Kenapa dengan fashion? Sebenarnya aku hampeh buta fashion! Haha Tapi bila jalan-jalan dekat butik dan tengok kebanyakkan baju yang ada, and dengan bakat menjahit warisan turun temurun ni; aku rasa sebenarnya tak susah nak jahit baju. Mungkin beza kat sini ialah 'mereka' baju-baju tu atas kertas, cari fabrik, ukur, potong dan cantum. Lepas tu, walah ~ jadilah baju yang best!

At the beginning ni tak perlu buat banyak, mungkin beberapa design dulu. Testing the water. Then kalau ok and aku punya skill pun dah makin baik, who know, I can be the next fashion designer! Huiyoo...Jauh betul berangan! Tapi, kan semua pun bermula dengan angan-angan? Aku inspired by my boss yang suka bagi 'peluang' tak kira bodoh macam mana pun idea yang dia dengar!

Alasan dia; saya dah ada rumah, kereta, motor etc semua saya dah ada. Tak ada apa lagi yang saya nak beli. So saya nak bagi peluang awak semua merealisasikan impian awak.. *Macam tulah lebih kurang. Tapi bab semua dia dah ada and tak ada apa lagi dia nak beli tu, memang betul! Dia memang dah ada semuanya...

Latest news, boss setuju idea aku nak buat cafe ala Marche! Yeay! Aku suka la boss nih! Senang aku nak bayangkan mana kitorang nak pergi, sebab vision aku sama macam dia! Wahhh...seronok! :D Cuma kadang-kadang aku takut juga, takut kalau aku terlalu seronok and puas hati dan selesa dengan semua yang dah ada. Sampai aku mungkin lupa diri  pula nanti....ish3x Doakan aku berjaya hingga akhirnya, tapi tak lupa diri, ye?

Assistant aku pun dah masuk tadi. Fresh grad juga la, belajar kat Morocco. Kalau tengok muka dia, agak poyo la..tapi aku belum sempat nak sembang panjang-panjang dengan dia. Hari ni meeting website sampai naik lebam! Dari semalam lagi sebenarnya, dan esok! Tak kisah, janji ada progress! Hiyarkkk...!! Dan kemasukan beliau ke dalam team kitorang hari ni, mencukupkan team dan juga menandakan bermulanya perjalanan sebenar plan business kitorang yang sebelum ni! Ganbatte!

Looking forward for a more busier me! My mind is sharper when I'm busy..plus I'll be more appreciate with free time I have when I have no more free time! Haha

Aku ke yang angkat tangan tu?

Dangerous liaison

I've been missed! haha

Get back to the office after a total of four days leave including two days MC and the weekend, I was greeted with "Where you go? Long time no see?" from my office-mates. Shame to admit that I have a muscle cramp due to my latest love affair with nature! haha

Anyway, this are some of the special feel I got on this new place. I miss them when away and they miss me too! wahaha Serious, I thought it's just an unfamiliar feeling that you feel when you been away for sometimes and when you see them again, you feel like you 'miss' them. But it's not. It's a feeling like we're big family. We don't really chat-up a lot but we do know each other. Well, maybe our less quantity is also a factor. But that is how I honestly feel :D

So my current love affairs is to hiking and camping and outdoors! After last time in Bukit Tabur, I feel really enjoy it and hope to get involve weekly! haha Don't worry boss, I make sure no MC after this! haha

Anyway nature is really my thing from the beginning. Outdoor activities requiring me to climb, crossing water, camping, camp-fire, walking deep into the jungle etc was my favorite but I don't like caves! I hate breathing inside cave because I thought it was dirty and all the dust will get into my system! Plus cave is dark place! Scary, with all the stalagmite or stalactite and I feel gross looking at the wet rock! It remind me of our old-toilet-ceiling during the hostel time! Euw..

Once during my study, we went to camping at Wang Kelian, Perlis. We have to dive into the cave there and thanks to the dark condition, I did't see what colour of the water that we have to cross in a shallow hole about my size! It's chilling cold and when we out to the light, I can see how dirty our cloth are!

But it was great experience :) We play war with our senior in the middle of the night, where most of us fall sleep and didn't care to look after our fortress! We suppose to be soaked in the waterfall that night but instead the punishment reduce to just being throw a splash of that chilling-water in the middle of the night! However the most memorable for me was to carry a few kilos of bag, walking to the campsite! I think I almost faint!

So now the memories rewind again. I'm looking forward to do it weekly basis. So far I have gather a list of hills around Selangor, KL and Negri Sembilan to tackle first. Then small mountain, and finally Kinabalu next year! :D

Cant wait to start! And I know two of my friends also cant wait to complete this list! :D  

if there's heaven on earth

I'm homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!!!!

Guest what? My mom was really a mind-reader! She cook chicken soup for our dinner tonight! Being all muscle stiffed since the hiking made my tongue goes tasteless on food and all I'm thinking of is a chicken soup since yesterday. Told you, she really can read my mind! :)

To complete my visit to this 'heaven' there's a red sambal to accompany my journey :) Wow! I allow my diet to cheat tonight :D

To my dad, get well soon..his left hand is swollen but getting better. I know a really good medicine ~ I'm home :)
(...hehehehehhe...true lar!)

alien orange

Ok, what should I rebel about today? Other than my painful thigh and shoulder and a cut and bruise on my arm as a result of my effort to climb Bukit Tabur near Klang Gate, when most Malaysian enjoy their Deepavali holiday...

I enjoy the climb, thou I'm not the fittest yet I'm not the weakest soul! haha
Evident 1: I 'brushed' away a hungry leeches (hmm..hungry for bloody breakfast maybe?) trying to climb my trousers, when I'm usually hate leeches and it's descendant and try hard to avoid them in any condition!
Evident 2: I didn't squeak a little thou the scenery from the top might scare a bit. (maybe I care less about that, since I try to "motivate" myself with thoughts of cool-red-sweet-water melon juice! :0 )
Evident 3: I'm approved to be spider-man far relatives, since I just know how to climb those rocks!!
Evident 4: I'm rocks!! HAHAHAHA

alien orange conquer bukit tabur! :D

Ok-ok, enough with that...honestly it scare me since next year I'm planning to conquer mount Kinabalu. But with the latest experience, I'm kinda freak a bit ~ will I make it? ermmm...aaaa....ummm

Last night was a freezing night since I'm trying to sooth the muscle with yoko-yoko (famous brand, anyone know?). It help but I can't wake up in the morning! It's like waist down is paralyzed and since both shoulder also too tight, I can't support my body weight. It make my signal seem lost-in-transmission to move my muscle.

Apart from that, there's one 'magic' thing happen while we have a drink 'celebrating' our victory. Your picture pop-out as my screen saver! I remember since what had happen last time, I swore won't see your picture anymore what's more to put it as my screen saver? But ok, it's what magic is...I just don't know what it mean especially when I'm potentially thinking to replace you, during that time!

My mind goes to you before, while and after the climb. I know you aren't fan of outdoors. I just hope it give me some good 'inspiration' while doing some stupid stuff when anyone else (especially you!) is still sleeping, perhaps!

Alright, finally, I'll treat my kylie with good polish, service, tyre, front light and rear bumper change this weekend since I'm salaried!!!! Special Thanks to my lovely kylie for all the good ride and for being my bestest friend! I love you so much...muah3x

my BESTest friend, Kylie :D

human, take me to your leader!

I remember already what I want to write previously! It's about Bill Rancic. Who do not know this guy??

He's married to Giuliana and have their own show Giuliana & Bill on channel E! I enjoy watching the show because I like Bill personality and I think they both is a sweet couple. Thou Bill know just a few Italian words, they still make a great couple and can work together most of the time.

What I like about Bill is that he is successful at young age. He's business minded people and workaholic. He travel a lots for business and charity purpose. He talk business well and he carry on job well done. He's matured person with matured decision but sometimes he can make people around him laugh as well! For me he is a real talented Project Manager - that's what I see in The Apprentice!

I felt jealous since he seems to have it all, make all he touch turn to gold (really??), but I must say it's great because I have a walking model! I'm going to adore him and his management style. And not too much to say that I don't mind marrying someone like him! AHAHAHA (I'm not joking! :D He likes kids too!)

Ok, that's about Bill. You may want to visit his site here http://billrancic.com/

Look how talented, charismatic he is.... :0

Ok, that's about Bill. Now about me...

Well the wrap up session was nothing much actually. It's just a few things my boss want to share with all the leader about our company in the future. But hey! Did I say my boss call in the leader?

Ahahaha that's making me trembling inside! Because I'm one of the leader at Ansar! Can you imagine that! Ow-ow They better prepare to where will I lead them! haha

Honestly I'm not a good, naturally talented leader. I lead passively thou I might have great idea. I remember once when I was a primary school student, I was make a leader in a group of few people. We have to find 'harta karun' by following a map. Guess what? Because I'm such an honest leader, I follow the route exactly thou we can use short cut! And since, I know I'm bad on leading! haha

Call me phobia of failure, or simply phobia being socially harass, that was me. Not only that, I later realize there's few other thing I avoid because I once failed doing it! I have a phobia to fail on it over again..poor me! :(

But ok, here I'm again. Been given a chance to correct myself. Being accepted, being pointed up as leader where I'm a hard-core follower; it's such a big thing to me! And my boss want us to be part of the solution, not the problem. Part of the success, not the failure. I'm honored :)

I wish to give as much as I can to the company. It's easier and so much fun when your boss's vision is exactly just like yours! Yeah, exactly!

So let's start with blue ocean strategy for the cafe now..then the break even..then the staff..then the renovation..then the ....bla bla bla

Hey Bill, want to follow me to photocopy shop? Let me photocopy 'you'! :D Anyway, I wish my boss's vision is going to be success and  I hope I can be one of the leader who make it happen! The pioneer!