holes inside

There are things happen today that make me so energy-less. Drained. To the extend of me feel so zero! Tired to rebel anymore. Waste my limited energy..

I remember something, about a friend of mind. Think I never write anything about him here before rite? Ok, basically we're NOT friend. He's a 'separate' office-mate who's on his own - all the time. In fact I don't really like him!

But once, he fall ill, have to be admitted to hospital. About two month absence. He used to be unfriendly, so I think no one really care where he was etc The only people care about him is this 'iron-lady' and kak yatie. After about two month missing, I started feel curious about him. What take him so long to stay in a hospital? And how come no one seem to care?

That time I was part of HR. And I think, it's part of our duty to 'build' relationship with employees. Plus I think I knew why, no one seem to care. So I suggest to my boss to pay him a visit. I know he use to be a 'strong' figure. So I hope for at least he knew that 'we' all care for him. So when he came back, we all have a greater and stronger relationship.

Who know, the very early morning after our visit the previous evening, he went on. I can't sleep that night and keep thinking about him. Woke up by a call from my boss, saying he's gone. Speechless.

I think all these while, he stay strong because he is a strong figure. Because he don't really care about anyone. And I think he fight the disease just the way he 'fight' in his work. Except that when 'we' come and show 'our' support, he's wall of 'egoism' crumble. And he surrender.

I wonder, is he surrender with thoughts that he actually cared? If so, then he surely satisfied. I hope.

Then now, few month's after. Iron-lady was admitted to hospital. She was a strong figure in my previous office as well. I can't deny that I'm shock and little bit nervous. I'm not prepare to hear another shocking news. We are not so close as well, but I look up to her as strong women. That's why I named her iron-lady!

She's a single mother. Raising a very young daughter. And I remember clearly, she said one of her reason to stay strong is her daughter saying 'I will love you, mama' on the day she officially divorce from her husband. It was a pure confession when she see's that a man who once love her and her mother, walk away from their live.

From what I heard, she's doing fine and I really hope too. My prayer goes to her and may she stay strong for the sake of her daughter. Anyway, I know she could make this through! :) Ganbatte..!

As for me.....won't say no more.


Full song : These Broken Hands of Mine ~ Joe Brooks